“You Don’t Look Like You Have Four Kids:” Challenging What We Think Motherhood Should Look Like

On December 8, 2025December 8, 2025 By Karen SternheimerIn Monica Radu, Relationships, Marriage and Family, Sex and GenderLeave a comment

By Monica Radu

Motherhood comes with a whole set of cultural expectations about what it should look like, feel like, and even who is seen as a “typical” mom. I was reminded of this recently during a quick doorstep conversation with a delivery driver. I mentioned how much I rely on their services with four little ones at home, and she said, “Oh, wow. You don’t look like you have four kids.”

I think it was meant as a compliment; I’m pretty sure it was. But it stuck with me. Not because I was offended, but because it made me think about what we expect motherhood to look like.

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Are we Being Replaced? Fertility, Mortality, and Demography

On August 11, 2025October 20, 2025 By econnellIn Immigration, Population, Aging, and Demography, Karen Sternheimer, Relationships, Marriage and Family1 Comment

By Karen Sternheimer

During a trip to Milan, one of the first places I visited was the Cimitero Monumentale, a cemetery famous for its ornate sculptures. We noticed a lot of funeral homes on our walk to this famous landmark, and flowers for sale for visitors to place on graves. This wasn’t surprising. But what was surprising were the many ads for funeral services on street signs in other parts of town.

The signs caught me a bit off guard, but they shouldn’t have. Italy’s population is aging; nearly a quarter of Italians are 65 or older (by contrast, only about 17 percent of the U.S. population is 65 or older). Funerals are a growing business.

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Travel and Relationships

On July 29, 2025October 20, 2025 By econnellIn Karen Sternheimer, Relationships, Marriage and Family1 Comment

By Karen Sternheimer

Sociologists have long studied marriage and relationships, asking big-picture questions about how relationships reflect changing social structure, shifts in gender and power, and economic factors. Sociologists are also interested in interpersonal experiences, such as how do people make meaning of love and relationships? How is love more than just a private feeling but a public issue?

We know that strong relationships with family and friends are good for longevity and overall health, with one study finding that strong social ties is as important as healthy eating and active living for overall health. This is more than just interesting intellectually—we all likely want to cultivate strong relationships for both our short-term and long-term happiness. But it can be easier said than done, especially if we are not in social situations where we might meet new people (such as, after we are no longer students or no longer have children who are students).

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The Balancing Act: Why “Showing Up” For Kids Matters, But so does Showing up for Work

On January 22, 2025October 21, 2025 By econnellIn Monica Radu, Relationships, Marriage and Family6 Comments

By Monica Radu

If you’ve spent any time on TikTok lately, you’ve probably come across the “showing up” trend. It’s a feel-good trend where parents proudly showcase how they try to be present for their kids, whether it’s for school events, games, or random day-to-day moments that mean the world to children. The message is heartwarming: being there matters, and kids notice when parents show up. I also know that research consistently suggests that parental involvement is important. But as a working mom, I can’t help but feel a little tug of anxiety every time I see those videos.

The pressure to be physically present for every milestone or school event ties into the larger societal expectation that good parents—especially mothers—are always available. This isn’t a new idea, but social media has amplified it, making it harder for working moms to ignore. These pressures align with the concept of intensive mothering, which demands that mothers devote immense time, energy, and emotional labor to their children, often at the expense of their own needs or professional aspirations. Whether it’s a holiday party or a preschool graduation, there’s an unspoken (and sometimes spoken) expectation that we’ll be there. And while these moments are important, they often come at a cost.

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From “Fist-Pumps” to Fatherhood: The Evolution of Masculinity on “Jersey Shore” and “Jersey Shore: Family Vacation”

On April 29, 2024October 9, 2025 By econnellIn Popular Culture and Consumption, Relationships, Marriage and Family, Sex and Gender3 Comments

By Monica Radu

In the world of reality television, few shows have captured the evolution of masculinity quite like "Jersey Shore" (2009-2012) and its 10-years-later counterpart, "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" (2018-present). What began as a whirlwind of partying, drama, and stereotypical displays of masculinity has since transformed into a nuanced portrayal of manhood, showcasing growth, maturity, and emotional depth among the male cast members. This transformation also reflects shifts in cultural attitudes towards masculinity, as viewers witness the cast members navigating changing societal expectations and redefining what it means to be a man in contemporary culture.

The original version of "Jersey Shore" was notorious for its portrayal of toxic masculinity, with male cast members engaging in behaviors characterized by aggression, dominance, and hypersexuality. Toxic masculinity refers to a set of socially constructed attitudes, behaviors, and norms associated with traditional masculinity that are harmful to both men and society. These norms often emphasize qualities such as dominance, aggression, and the devaluation of traits traditionally associated with femininity. Toxic masculinity perpetuates harmful gender stereotypes and expectations about how men “should” behave, leading to behaviors that can be harmful to themselves and others, such as violence and the repression of emotions. It also contributes to the marginalization of individuals who do not conform to traditional gendered expectations.

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Gender, Sexuality, and Social Exclusion

On January 29, 2024October 9, 2025 By econnellIn Behind the Headlines, Karen Sternheimer, Relationships, Marriage and Family, Sex and GenderLeave a comment

By Karen Sternheimer

Recently politicians have continued attempts to police gender and sexuality through the passage of laws that seek to exclude and punish. It is important to consider why the attention to other people’s gender and sexual practices are part of public and political discourses, and why some people are the target of social exclusion.

For context: while laws attempting to limit transgender rights have dominated the last decade, criminalizing same-sex relationships is not by any means new, although new laws have been passed around the world in the past few years. Human Rights Watch maintains a list of criminal codes outlawing same-sex relations around the world dating back to the nineteenth century. Many laws criminalizing LGBTQ people were passed in the middle of the twentieth century. Why?

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Having It All? Motherhood in an Increasingly “Planned” World

On February 6, 2023October 9, 2025 By econnellIn Jenny Enos, Relationships, Marriage and Family, Sex and Gender7 Comments

By Jenny Enos

Whether, when, and even how to have children are increasingly complicated questions facing women today. On the one hand, revived abortion debates and restrictive legislation in many U.S. states may mean forced motherhood for those who become pregnant; on the other, both cultural and financial pressures around motherhood are weakening. For the first time in history there are now more women than men in the college-educated workforce, meaning that fewer women are sticking to stay-at-home parenting, and our culture is increasingly starting to view motherhood as an option rather than as an expectation.

In addition to more financial and cultural freedom, accessible contraception has also made it possible for women to be more intentional about whether and when they want to have children than in the past. In 2018, an estimated 65% of U.S. women of reproductive age (those aged 15 – 49) were using some form of contraceptive method and there were no significant differences based on level of education. Whether they dropped out of high school or have a Ph.D., these women share one thing in common – most of them are taking active steps to control their fertility. These efforts have been successful, too: the rate of unintended pregnancies has seen a significant decline over the past two decades.

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