By Karen
Sternheimer

Matthew (not his real name) was once a student of mine. He
regularly left class early, arrived late, and seemed bored when he was there.
His coursework was mediocre at best, and when he got his grade at the end of
the semester—which was consistent with his scores throughout the semester—he
came to my office to complain. He didn’t do well in the participation part of
the course, which he argued “wasn’t fair.”

Imagine my surprise when he then asked me for a letter of
recommendation….

Matthew might have passed the class, but he failed at
something Erving Goffman
described as impression
management. This is the process by which we try and shape what others think
of us through our actions and appearance. Goffman saw social life as a performance
and the people with whom we interact as an audience of sorts. As an “audience
member” I wasn’t terribly impressed by Matthew’s “performance” as student in
search of a recommendation.

Here’s the tricky thing about impression management: we may
have multiple audiences for whom we are performing at once. For some students,
appearing to be very engaged in a class might give off an impression that they
are conformists.

As sociologist R.W. Connell described in a classic article
called “Cool
Guys, Swats, and Wimps: The Interplay of Masculinity and Education,” some
men from working class backgrounds construct a sense of masculinity through
resisting educational authorities, much as Paul Willis found in his 1981
classic, Learning
to Labor: How Working Class Kids Get Working Class Jobs. Researchers
today also consider how the higher education gap between men and women might be
related to the notion that commitment to education is somehow feminine. I have
seen some men actually tease other men in the classroom for participating or for
appearing to pay attention.

Still other students have little practice with attempting to
craft an impression as a professional, which providing a reference often
requires. While as a student it may not seem to matter if you have a few
absences or come to class late on occasion, as an employee this could be
grounds for termination. Some students treat being a student as their job, one
where they try hard to craft an impression that they are serious and committed.
These are always the easiest people to write letters of recommendation for.

Impression management today takes place electronically too. Facebook
posts also often have multiple audiences; people of all ages can find that they
give off impressions that can get them in trouble. I give students a handout on
the first day of class with tips on how to send a professional email. With
ample experience sending texts or emails to friends, some students are overly
informal or send a highly emotional message without thinking of its
consequences first. Many years ago, a student had a very racy signature line
that she used in all her emails. Another had an explicitly sexual email
address. Imagine what sort of impression they gave off, especially if they used
these accounts to contact possible employers!

I wonder if Matthew and students like him just don’t know what sort of
impression they should attempt to make with professors to get the best
recommendations. From a professor’s perspective:

• Come to class regularly
• Participate in class
• If you are struggling, seek help. I have
  written many recommendations for students who were not at the top of the
  class but worked really hard.
• Take responsibility for your challenges;
  if you are concerned about a grade, ask what you can do to improve your
  work rather than argue about points. Someone only seeking a higher grade
  could be missing a major learning opportunity—and employers prefer to hire
  people open to receiving feedback.
• If completing a group project, be
  respectful of teammates’ ideas and do all the tasks you agreed to do. Many
  recommendation forms ask how well you can work with others.
• Be polite to your professor, teaching
  assistant (if applicable) and fellow students.

Professors are busy
and writing a good, detailed letter takes time, so we need to consider every
request for a recommendation carefully. 
Afterall, these letters are  part
of our impression management too. If
we vouch for a student who ultimately gives off a poor impression to a
potential employer, ultimately so do we.